Friday, October 28, 2011

Who Rolls Harder than Norland?

Norland…International man of mystery, guardian of the nation, scourge to middle management, and genuine POS… There are not a lot of nice things I can say about him other than he likes his Scotch, Beer and imported cheeses and oh ya… that Mf’er rolls hard.
I’ll even go out on a limb to say I know no one that rolls harder. LOL!

Point of note:

1. Snowmageddon… while the rest of Ontario hunkered down cowering at what was pitched as the snowstorm to end the world we took the Tercel across the barren Ontario hi ways in search of chrome. What… we did bring a plastic shovel with us. You know…just in case. And we did put the beat down on a few before we even came to our senses.

2. Norland takes Tercel down gigantic snow covered hill to river valley access. Upon retreat from river discovers snow now frozen over and road iced up. After numerous attemps and the risk of sliding off of a cliff he abandons the vehicle and calls his wife to come and pick him up. He returns days later with a pallet of salt and sand to discover ice has melted and rescues the vehicle by driving it out.

3. Last winter’s Freak Snowstorm that shut down hi ways and international border crossings stranding hundreds on the 402 for days and employing the services of the Canadian military...remember that one???Well we took the Tercel down barren and deserted MI hi ways to meet up with a Guide and fished the lower Muskegon under hurricane force winds and blinding snow. We certainly drew some looks of concern from the 4x4 crews that day. Oh ya… and we put a few in the boat as well. I still remember the look on the faces of the snowmobile guys when we pulled back to the boat launch.

4. Ice Breaker SS Norland hooks a chromer in a very narrow slot of open water on a well frozen over run after a long unsuccessful outing. With no regard for his personal well-being he refuses to lose the fish and proceeds to bust up and set free a sheet of Ice no smaller than a pickup truck…He landed the fish!

5. Another colder than Hell mid-December outing whilst fishing back in the sticks Norland decides to cross an unfamiliar piece of raging water. Part way in and on the edge of no return he commits to find himself swimming the remainder of the crossing with one arm in the air holding his rod and the other paddling for dear life while bobbing off the bottom. He is completely soaked and fishes the remainder of the sub-arctic day out fishing me…POS!

6. We learn of “secret access” road back to holy water believed only accessible via 4x4. Norland throws caution to the wind and drivesTercel back where no Tercel has gone before. New shit-rat precedent set!  Great moment in Steelheading History!

7. Under explicit instruction from the mother of his children to be home no later than 4pm Norland rolls in the drive way at 6 tired and beat down from a long day of inhumanly possible fishing antics. As a bargaing tool he bares gifts of smoked back bacon and sausage. Now that right there is hard core sh*t!

Fueled by nothing more than Bud Light and Bologna sandwiches the man is truly unstoppable. Nobody rolls harder than Norland and I’m glad he is my friend and fishing partner.  "F*cking GPS"

1 comment:

Trotsky said...

Ya thats right!!!!
You Fucking Canada????